


Baby's Weekend Out

by AnnaLiss17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby Jack Kline, Babysitting, Fluff, Gen, Good Parent Lucifer (Supernatural), Humor, Michael Loves Lucifer (Supernatural), Protective Lucifer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2020-07-08 01:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19861051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaLiss17/pseuds/AnnaLiss17
Summary: Chuck was supposed to watch over Jack for the weekend while Michael was taking Lucifer out of town for a well-deserved break.What He wasn't supposed to do was to lose Lucifer's precious little prince whom he loves more than life itself and would kill everyone for within the first hours...





	1. Chapter 1

Lucifer carefully took off the lid, dipped the spoon inside, and held it before thin lips. "All. Of. It." He punctuated every word to show how serious he was about it. Jack looked at him for a second, tilting his head to the side, then gave him a tiny smile, which had Lucifer groan internally knowing what was coming, managing to close his eyes in time before the spoon's contents were thrown in his face.

The Devil took an exaggerated deep breath, sliding his fingers over his face in an attempt to clean himself succeeding only in getting his shirt dirtier. His blue eyes turned bright blood red as he leaned his head towards the Nephilim until their foreheads were touching. "Buddy." He spoke with a low, but deep, grumbling. "Next time you do that, there will be consequences. Consequences which you will thoroughly regret."

"Indeed, darling little brother of mine." Michael called out, without raising his eyes from the book he was currently reading. Earth's literature, while entirely peculiar from what he was used to read in Heaven, had its good stories as well. For example, the one he was reading right now. "Because the seventh time is luck. Or is it the eighth? I'm afraid I've lost count."

Lucifer dropped the spoon (and the intimidating attitude as well since the mission is destined to be a failure) turning to his brother, eyes now their vessel's normal blue, officially blaming him for everything. "Man, seriously? I was this close to get him to eat it! I almost cracked him." The other two empty cups at his feet, now adding more color to his shirt, begged to differ.

"Sure you were." Michael replied dismissively, turning the page and adding to himself under his breath. "And Lord Eddard _almost_ died."

"Alright, smart guy." The Devil said raising from his seat hurriedly, turning it around to have it face his brother, politely offering it. "Show me how it's done." If he had a soul he would bet it now that his brother is going to fail this miserably.

Michael rolled his eyes, but closed the book and went to do so. His hand barely approached Jack before the small hand grabbed his wrist and basically threw him upside down with his back hitting the floor, his pride wounded beyond recovery. Those Nephilim powers, that strength, barely even trying, were something else. But then again with Lucifer as his sire, even though still a baby, Jack was no ordinary Nephilim. 

Lucifer chuckled loudly, mockingly, holding his belly with both of his hands thoroughly enjoying to see the great Archangel Michael failing at something. The Archangel on the floor used the moment his brother was too distracted to laugh at him and slid his foot over his legs causing the other angel to take a fall and join him on the floor. Who's laughing now? Apparently, Jack. He seemed to find their moment very entertaining.

"Why must you feed him this type of yogurt if it is clear he doesn't want it?" Michael grunted, scratching the back of his head.

Lucifer looked at him as if he was shocked he didn't know something that was supposed to be totally obvious, before taking a breath to answer and calm himself as well. "According to my parenting book, this is what a good parent gives to their child to ensure their healthy steady growth and add some strength to their bone structure. Any complaints? Well, excuse me for trying to be a good parent."

Meanwhile their bickering Jack got off the highchair, sliding off the seat, grabbing one foot to land on his feet before dropping on all fours and began to crawl to the living room giggling. "You can run, but you can't hide pal." Lucifer shouted at the retreating bundle as if on purpose giving them a view of his diapered bottom to add more salt to the wound. "I know where you live!"

"That was so terrifying, brother." Michael couldn't have been more ironic even if he tried. "No wonder why you're the King of Hell. I'm so scared. You really live up to your name." Lucifer kicked him hard then rose to his feet with his head high, dusted himself, and walked off to the bathroom. The laundry was ready.

After a moment Michael joined him and he asked softly. "How about you go and lay down? I can fold the clothes." How hard could it be? Plus that, his brother has been working so hard he deserves a break. Michael can openly admit he has never seen such a dedicated father as his brother is, taking his time to raise, guard, love, and when the time comes, to teach the child.

"You'd do me a bigger favor if you'd go and watch Jack." Lucifer replied, already folding his son's clothes adding as an after-thought. "Can't afford to have him out of my sight." His brothers and His Father might have accepted the Nephilim, but that didn't mean the entire Heaven did. Nephilims are still heavily forbidden as they have always been and some angels do no think it's right for Jack to get a free pass just because God is his Grandfather.

Hell, specifically those against their King, wanted him dead in case he sides with the angels. Earth had its hunters who consider his boy just another freak of nature who has to be taken down whenever the chance shows itself. Nowhere was safe. Which is why Lucifer couldn't even consider leaving his baby out of his sight even for a second. It takes one second, one action to change everything.

Michael nodded and left without another word. In the living room, his nephew was trying to climb on the couch. Smiling at the sight, he wrapped his hands around the boy and sat down with him, leaning on the side, his back against the large pillow, his nephew sprawled on his chest, for a more comfortable position. Grabbing the remote he began to switch through the channels until he found the cartoons he knew the boy loved.

When Lucifer was done with folding the clothes and arranging them in their wardrobes, he looked for them in the living room. He paused at the doorway, leaning on it, crossing his arms to his chest, and grinned. "Enjoying yourselves?"

Michael brought a finger to his lips. "Quiet now. We're about to learn what the Mystery Mouskatool is in this episode." It was a purple pillowcase. "Called it." Jack raised his head from his uncle's chest to give him a dismissive look. "I did!"

The younger Archangel took the opportunity to do some cleaning around the apartment while his brother and his baby were having their Lazy Sunday on a Thursday. He took all of his son's toys that were basically everywhere and rearranged them in the toy storage, mopped the floors, cleaned the carpets, changed the bedsheets, and by the time he was done, he was ready to drop onto one of the newly reborn carpets and sleep on it. 

Taking care of a place is hard. Taking care of a place of your own while raising a child on your own while pestering creatures or humans try to hunt you both down and end your lives is exhausting even for the Devil.

Returning to the living, he retrieved his baby and rocked him to sleep while quietly humming a song humans called these days 'classic' before laying him down in his crib officially ending the day.

In the morning the Devil woke up to the wonderful smell of fresh coffee (something he came to love deeply but not more than booze) and breakfast. In the kitchen, Michael was enjoying his coffee as Jack did in his high chair with his bottle of milk. The breakfast was laid down, but just one plate. "You know how to cook now?" He asked bending to press a morning kiss against his son's head.

"Tried. It didn't work." And by didn't work, he means that he failed miserably nearly burning down the place (he was the eldest son of God and won the war against the Darkness, but for some reason making some plain eggs was too much for him) therefore he came up with a brilliant idea. "Took your phone and I ordered something. Much easier, much faster."

Lucifer sat down at the table, grabbing some bread and pretended to look around. "I don't see a bra or underwear. You work fast in the morning or what?"

"Nothing like that." What was he? A virgin? "I used your wallet to pay." And if he gave a generous tip to the nice delivery girl then that was going to stay between them.

Since foul words were absolutely forbidden to be spoken in Jack's earshot, and since he was still too young to understand it, Lucifer cursed him loudly in Enochian then proceeded to eat his food. "What?" Michael hadn't taken his eyes off of him.

"You look like you could use a break." He stated softly. Lucifer rolled his eyes and thought to himself that this was the statement of the year. "I've been watching you, you're very very tired." And to be frank, the Archangel was growing concerned.

"Yeah? And who's gonna watch over my baby? Mother Nature?"

Hearing a flutter of wings, they turned their heads to see their Father Himself with His usual gentle smile trying to make it seem as a casual visit rather than eavesdropping on their conversation and choosing to pop up when the opportunity showed. "Hello, boys."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi Dad, eavesdropped on any good conversations lately?" Lucifer greeted lifting Jack from his high chair to shift him on his hip. Chuck held back an annoyed sigh at the obvious display of distrust from his son picking up his own son, holding him tight and as far away from Him as possible. True that a couple of months ago He wanted to kill Jack, but that was something they settled over in the end. Apparently, Lucifer didn't think so.

This, trying to get His children to forgive Him, trying to make peace and have His family back again to the way it was, to act once again in the way they used to, proved to be much harder than those Tv shows made it look like. He would so cancel his subscription if it weren't for the new season of Casa De La Casa airing in autumn. A soap opera Gabriel made Him watch that is literally the best thing on Tv at the moment.

"Babuah." Babbled baby Jack, clutching his tiny hands around the collar of his father's shirt burying his face in it smearing around his morning breakfast and some of his mucus. No need to mention that it was a new shirt, brand washed and all that. 

That word could only mean two things, either he's up to upset his father or he's missing Gabriel which in Lucifer's opinion was just as bad because that means his presence is not enough to keep the child happy and he needs someone else to have a good life. "Yeah, we get it. You can almost talk now. Congrats. But if you aren't gonna say anything else than do shut up."

Jack's only response? "Babuah."

Lucifer's arm dropped by his body. "He's doing it on purpose." He told Michael exasperated, the eldest Archangel snorted loudly (he never thought he will live the day to see his brother, the Devil himself, finding his match). Then he pointed an accusatory finger at his son's button nose. "You're doing it on purpose." Turning his head to His Father, the accusatory finger moved to Him. "This is all Your fault."

Chuck anxiously went over through the 75 seconds He's been there to see, to figure out, where did He go wrong. He's been trying so hard to make amends with Lucifer, but it turns out to be easier to discover Atlantis. (Sunk on accident, He still doesn't remember where)

"Don't mind him. He's been cranky ever since he made the connection that Jack's first word was related to Gabe and still hasn't gotten over it. It's been weeks." Michael thought it was time for him to grow up and be mature about it. Then again, when has Lucifer done anything like that? "Anyway, what brings You here? Any supernatural global threatening thing going on around that we need to take care of?"

"No, actually. Nothing of the sorts." Thank God for that. Oh, wait... "It's kinda. Well, the thing is." Now that He is there doing it, He realizes it might not be His greatest idea ever. Does He still have time to leave? How about if He disappears out of the blue and comes back when Jack's an adult? "I heard that you would like to get a vacation and you need someone to watch over the baby so I came over to offer My helping hand."

"Hm. Let me think it over." He was silent only for a second before he shook his head vigorously. "Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm doing just fine on my own. You just want to get rid of me and take my baby." Jack turned his head to his father surprised. "Not letting you out of my sight." He reassured his son kissing the top of his head. "Although, sometimes I do think about selling you to the gypsies."

"Luci, it's not that I don't think you can do it." Michael intervened quickly. "In fact, it's that you're doing it so well I think you deserve to get a break." His brother, being who he is, turned out to be a great father who works hard to make sure his son won't have to have the life they had despite what everyone thought or believed in. Nobody, not even God Himself, expected Lucifer to be this good at this.

Whenever a new fledgling joined the family back in Heaven, he'd pass them on to Raphael or whoever happened to be available at the respective moment. And look at him now, the big bad wolf proud as a lion with a baby on his hip and smitten beyond recover. Michael took another sip of his coffee hiding a grin while watching them. They were adorable.

"Fine then." Rolling eyes exaggerating the gesture, he turned once again to Chuck the despise he held more than obvious. "But I don't need You. You know what? I'll just call Gabe." Or Raphael. Or Cas. Or Sam. Or Dean. Or someone from Heaven. Or someone from Hell. Aunt Amara aka the freaking Darkness was also a choice, badass woman, stronger than God Himself. He had options, lots of options, and His Father was none of them.

"Not sure that's a good idea." Michael interjected biting his lip to keep himself from laughing. "Remember the incident?" The incident as they called it happened a couple of weeks ago. Gabriel and Raphael were watching over Jack while Lucifer was out investigating a potential hunter who was after the Nephilim. Lucifer toyed with his mind and made sure the man won't even remember his own name again. 

Jack inherited some of his mother's parts and some of his father's as well. One would be that he grows like a normal baby, but he doesn't follow all the rules. For example, he was much, much stronger than a normal baby. Heck, he had a grip that would bring grown men to their knees in pain. Another would be that when his teething started, his bite was nearly lethal. And Jack loved to bite.

One time he bit Lucifer's finger, his teeth cutting through Nick's skin until they reached the bone and broke through it. Lucifer liked the pain, he thought it was fun. Gabriel didn't. While watching over him, the Archangel chose the wrong day not to wear socks and have his ankles exposed. In the living room with Jack on the carpet and Gabe on the couch, he didn't notice the baby crawling to him, but he certainly felt the teeth diving into his vessel's skin.

He stood up straight, his position would've put men in the military units to shame, and screamed out loud. Raphael barged in, saw what was happening, and quickly shoved his wrist in Gabriel's mouth before he could yell out all kinds of curses so loud Lucifer might hear them (he had a strict policy of no swearing around the baby and turned damn terrifying when the rule was broken) which turned out to be the worst decision he made in that day.

Unable to scream or curse his pain away, Gabe bit Raphael's wrist instead for relief. Raphael's screams were silenced immediately by the Messenger who shoved his wrist inside his brother's mouth. Raphael in return, unable to display his pain in any other way, bit in return the wrist inside his mouth and for a couple of seconds, there were heard only muffled screams with some serious wounds left behind.

Failing to suppress his laughter, Michael began to chuckle at the memory and shake his head fondly and even Lucifer cracked a little that soon grew into full laughter with Chuck joining them as well.

"One thing that's for sure. I'm not leaving You to take care of my son." Aaaand they were back again right where they began. Michael rolled his eyes again, overdoing it, again, and raised an eyebrow, curious to know the motive behind the sudden blow.

"Flashback to a couple of months ago, Mikey! When He turned me human and tried to kill my baby? Rewind to when He sent you all to do His work at first! Where the hell has your memory gone?!" Shouted Lucifer indignant that he had to actually bring this up since it should've been obvious. Sure, in the end, they made up and He let Jack live and they currently have some kind of relationship...

But that happened only because he was ready to open the Seven Gates of Hell at once on Earth, which would've made the Apocalypse look like a funny joke, when His Father took his son back to Heaven to kill him, and he had his back covered by his brothers and his aunt who was now little Jack's biggest fan (after his super cool daddy, of course).

Michael recounted in his mind all the times he told his brother how their Father wanted to make up for everything, wanted to start things over so they could be a family again. As it seems, nothing stuck. Trying again would be a waste of time and air, therefore he tried a different approach. "I'll be paying for literally everything you want including the prostitutes you will be bringing to your room."

And it worked.

"I'll start packing." Lucifer said leaving the room.

...

"Dad, do You happen to have some credit cards I can borrow?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Ba-babuah!" Jack squealed from his spot on the couch with a giant smile on his face showing his teeth. He seemed to take a lot of pleasure in torturing his old man by defying the easiest orders. At first, what was a ferocious order succumbed eventually to a pathetic plead... If his enemies could see him now...

Lucifer took a long sharp breath. "I'll pay you to say literally anything else." He was on the edge here, his boy was toying with him, he was sure of it! Otherwise, how in the world could he pronounce that and not a bloody simple daddy or dada? Heck at this point he will take even just a da! That blasted word was a constant reminder of Gabriel impacting Jack in such way he became his first word. Lucifer was his father!

"Stop torturing the poor baby!" Michael grinned, ruffling his nephew's hair and pulling him into his lap. He should've been back in Heaven for a while already, but every time he promises he won't stay on his brother's head for too long he ends up staying for much longer the planned to. It's Lucifer being such a devoted father and the picture those two present together that is just too addictive.

The moving frame the eldest Archangel could never get enough of. His little brother, the big bad wolf as presented in the folk stories, tamed by his very own creation. The beast that was calmed by the little lamb. The fallen angel who swore he would never bow before anyone, now keeps melting into a puddle of tenderness with every moment he spends around his son. No, Michael will never get tired of it. Of watching them. Of being with them.

"Excuse me?" Lucifer chocked out with an unbelievable look gesturing to himself. "I am the victim here!" As if that wasn't the most obvious thing in the Universe. Can this be called emotional abuse? He's pretty sure he's being emotionally abused.

Michael smirked at him in response. "I know. I was talking to Jack."

Lucifer bit his lip, closing his eyes, his lips falling into a thin line. He hates it when they team up against him. "Are you getting back at me? I think you're trying to get back at me." Actually, he's certain that his brother is using his son to get revenge for all the nerves, teasing, pranks, the trouble he caused him with Gabe back in Heaven. Michael's smirk did not falter one bit.

With a soft look at his brother and baby boy, the two of them comfortably sitting together, the conversation takes another turn. "Maybe we shouldn't go..." Jack is too young for him to leave. Jack needs him at this stage of life more than ever. He is just getting to know the world around him. There are so many things that need to be taken into consideration since Jack is literally one of a kind.

"Brother, we have already established that you need this." Not to mention that he has already paid for their room and planned it with a very thoroughly thought list. "Parenthood is a great look on you, it goes with your eyes. And as any other parent, you deserve a break from it. You've been exhausting yourself, your Grace is all over the place, you fall asleep wherever you lay, you barely rest, you're always tired. Should I go on?"

"I don't think Dad can manage him on His own." It's been millenniums since the Man took care of a baby, He's way out of practice. "I think I'll call Gabe to pop up by. And Raphael too to make sure the place won't burn down in my absence." Not that he cares about it too much, after all, it was just an apartment, but it was the first place where no one tried to attack them in weeks. It's nice for once not to run away as soon as word of their location gets out.

Jack cooes at him and he hates how it makes him smile so easily and at the same time, he doesn't and secretly wants more. Jack holds out his small arms towards him, cooing some more, flexing his fingers. Lucifer instantly goes to pick him up and tries not to melt all over the place when his son nestles his head into the side of his neck. "...How do you want me to leave him when he does that to me?"

Michael shrugs before picking up the remote to get back to his show. "You'll figure something out."

* * *

"I've been trying to introduce him to solid foods for a while now. Success on some parts, failure on the others. He will be hungry around 17.50 or 18 in the afternoon, so prepare the pasta, the one specifically has baby written on it and mentions multiple times that is for babies, around 15 to 20 minutes before that. Ignore what the tag says, it takes at least 8 minutes to get a decent water temperature for it."

With just a few hours before he was due to leave, the Devil was restless, worried out of his mind, doubtful towards His Father, and he hasn't even stepped out of the place yet. He felt that what he's instructing Chuck now isn't enough. He should've had more time at hand. How does he fill everything His Father needs to know about his baby in minutes? Why did he agree to this again? It really didn't help to see the Old Man so relaxed. Too relaxed.

"He's at that stage where he's kinda refusing everything you give him because he is more aware of the world around him and wants to spend his time getting to know it rather than feeding himself, so don't panic if it takes a little more than a while to convince him to eat. He will give in eventually. The bright side is that this gets tired more easily, therefore, You won't have to try too hard to put him to sleep."

"I get it. I know. I know everything. Remember?" He was God after all. Lucifer opened his mouth to argue back. "Beautiful, I don't need a pamphlet. It's just one simple baby for one weekend. It's not rocket science, so how hard can it be? I mean you do it on a daily basis." Chuck pauses to chuckle, an absurd situation coming into His mind. "It's not like I'm gonna let him out of My sight enough for him to sneak out of the building and start exploring the city and join the mob." Chuck gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Come on, son. Have some faith."

Chuck retreated to see what was all about the show that had Michael glued to the couch knowing that his eldest son wasn't exactly humanity's biggest supporter, not even after so many years. Not that he hated it or something either. He just preferred Heaven over everything. Lucifer remained behind, putting his hands on his hips taking it as a challenge. "Alright then..." He wants a challenge? He thinks he has it too easy?

"Jackie?" Hearing his father calling for him, the baby moved away from his train toy and crawled up to him. Picking him up, Lucifer led them both to the kitchen. "Here, buddy. Daddy is sorry he has to leave like that and to make up for that, he'll let you have what you usually are not allowed to." Taking from the fridge the chocolate pudding, Jack clapped happily. "Bottoms up, pal. Tonight, anything goes. Pinky promise."

A couple of weeks ago, when he was testing new foods on his son to see what he likes and what he doesn't, when Jack had his first taste of chocolate pudding he became Lucifer's living nightmare. The chocolate and especially the sugar in it had the baby restless for the whole night and the father completely exhausted in the morning with a terrible headache. Like a hangover without getting drunk in the first place.

Placing his boy into his high chair and the bowl before him, he watches with sick pride his son basically devouring it, smearing it all over his face in all his excitement. That means His Old Man will have to start straight with a bath. Jack doesn't like to bath. Good.

"Give Him hell from me little Devil."


	4. Chapter 4

He barely took a few steps down before he stopped for a moment and threw his arms in the air claiming. "I can't do this." Turning around, he was ready to run back. Only if the 'armed wall' before him would actually let him move. "Out of my way, Michael! I need to get home!" Trying to run past him proved to be no more successful than his first attempt because his brother grabbed him and dragged him back.

"Lucifer, we barely left." Michael hissed, his grip on his brother was strong and so was the fight the younger one was putting against it, struggling as a man with the rope around his neck. The Archangel couldn't be more exasperated with his stubborn sibling who was constantly changing his mind. "We just walked out. We're literally one floor lower than yours." And some people want _him_ to grow up...

"And thank Dad it took me just one floor to realize what a stupid idea this is." The Devil retorted back, his head going up to where his place was located, shouting out. "Don't worry Jackie, daddy's coming!" Who the Hell came up with this idea? Why the Hell did he agree to this again? What if flat-earth society is right? Oh, wait, as Archangel, he should know that... He used to tear worlds for his own entertainment and now he doesn't even function without Jack.

"No!" There was no way Michael was having this. Not a chance in the world. Not as long as he lives and breathes. Not now. Not ever. Not after he struggled so hard to show his brother why he needed this, then struggled to plan everything and come up with a fun list of things to do while spending some quality Archangel time together. No way in Hell!... For Heaven's sake, they haven't even left the building.

* * *

"I can do this." Chuck muttered to Himself, rubbing His temples. He needed to focus. Thirty minutes after being left alone with the boy and somehow the infant managed to crawl out of His sight twice nearly giving Him a panic attack. Using His all-seeing eyes, He located the boy's Grace shining from behind the couch and He breathed in relief. Thirty minutes in which He nearly screwed up but didn't at the last minute.

He needed to do this right to get on Lucifer's good side again. Ever since He took Jack away from him and tried to kill him although He eventually changed His mind and let His son continue to take care of His grandson, Lucifer never really got over it. Not that he tried too hard to hide the despisal held against His Father even though Chuck still felt terrible for that...

Because if this weekend doesn't end well, then Lucifer will hate Him forever and Jack will grow up to hate Him forever and then His other sons will eventually turn to hate Him forever for His inability to look after a baby and if something happens to the baby, then that's all on Him. How could He look after the world if He can't look after a baby? And, oh for Heaven's sake, where did the boy go again?

"Sup, Pops?" Too deep into His thoughts, when the new voice suddenly popped up, Chuck nearly jumped into the ceiling, jerking away, a short frightened shout escaping Him.

"Gee, I'm happy to see You too." Gabe replied sarcastically, eyeing Him up and down. What had gotten Him so worked up? Not too long after, his face fell with realization. "You lost the kid haven't You?" Pressing his face into his palm, he rubbed his eyes tiredly. The question needed no answer. Why did he let his brother talk him into this again? If anything happens to the kid now it won't be only Chuck's fault but his' as well.

"No, he's right there." Chuck replies, gathering Himself and pointing at the babe conveniently crawling out just then from behind the couch being a giggling mess. Oh yeah! Because it's so fun hearing God's high pitched screams or seeing Him scared out of His mind! "And don't sneak up on Me like that, I nearly crapped my pants." His heart sunk in that moment because He thought Lucifer came back.

"Aren't you just the world's most adorable kid?" Gabe cooed at his nephew picking him up to boop his nose playfully, chuckling after that at his own joke. "Oh, wait. No. That's me." He is such a comedian that sometimes he surprises even himself. Taking a look around the place, the Archangel found it to be more organized than he thought he would find it. "Apparently, You're not doing so bad so far."

"Well, I used to take care of You and all the other children back in Heaven." Chuck argued back steadily even though a couple of moments ago He was about to lose His mind. "This is just like reliving the good old times." He added more sure of Himself. "Like riding a bicycle again after years of it being forgotten into the garage." He could do this. And He from all the people didn't need help or a babysitter. He was doing just fine on his own.

"You don't know how to ride a bicycle." And there goes all of His self-control and self-certainty. His head falls and He facepalms being caught redhanded like a deer in the light. "You play the guitar better than You ride a bicycle."

"What brings you here, son?" He asks fighting back a self-pity sigh, tired of this conversation. He draws comfort from the fact that it wasn't his second eldest who came back. Imagine explaining to him something along the lines 'Your kid? Sorry, I lost him. It happens. No biggie. He ain't that important to you anyway, right? Wanna go get some Starbucks or bother the Winchesters?'

"Luci called me to stop by. Then Michael told me I need to keep my eyes on you. So, it was obviously a total random gesture that suddenly came to my mind. I was a couple of hundred miles around and thought to myself why not?" Jack leaned up to grab his nose, but he tilted his head out of the way. "After all, he's my favorite nephew and I am his favorite. Period."

A flutter of wings announced another angel's arrival. Raphael adjusted his tie, flying is always messing up his vessels clothes. "And Michael politely told me to get my ass in here to watch over you." The three of them looked around at each other for a moment. "It's a vicious cycle." And as it seems even God can be bossed around if either Heaven's Weapon or the Devil put their mind to it.

"And apparently they think we're complete idiots since they don't believe in us to take care of a baby on our own." The Trickster retorted finding that statement to be a little more than just shameful. "I mean they are not wrong about you, but what the hell am I doing on the same plate as you two?" Is that a bad attempt of a joke? Is that a personal attack or something?

Interrupted by a sudden beeping, Chuck checked his watch. "Ah, it's time to prepare the food." He informed taking His nephew to the kitchen. "We're having pasta tonight. You boys want some?" Okay, so the drawings pretty much tell Him to boil the water for five minutes, but Lucifer already told Him to boil it for ten instead. Something about the stove being too old and the product too new. Or was it the heat power in the flames too weak?

"No thanks, I usually order online." He couldn't decide between two pizzas, buy two pay for one offer, a large burger with fries and free drink, or pancakes/waffles and cupcakes. Decisions. Decisions. The perks of being an angel are that if the vessel gets too fat or catches some form of disease he could easily change it for another one. Which is why he settled to have as dinner for the last option on his mind.

Boiling them was very easy and luckily for Him the sauce was already made. He had His own share as He prepared His grandson's portion, but after He finished it, Jack stubbornly refused it all. Either he pretended to be hungry or He screwed up somewhere.

"Father? Might I respectfully point out that you ate Jack's portion of pasta and now you're trying to feed him the adult version that is specifically made for you?" He intentionally kept quiet, silently observing, and he realized that Michael was entirely right to call for his help. Their Father was out of practice and Gabriel's lifestyle was a forbidden influence on their nephew.

Oh, damn. "What's wrong with this one? It's just pasta." Jack doesn't seem to agree with His opinion because he keeps turning his head away every time Chuck brings the fork closer to his face. A long time ago He had to force-feed His sons and daughters with vegetables when they didn't want it and most of them turned out just fine. Of course, nearly all of them are dead now, but it wasn't because they didn't eat their vegetables.

Plus, He doesn't want to admit that He got it wrong. If He admits it then He will acknowledge He's not good enough for the job and then He will start spiraling on how much of a bad Grandfather and Father He really is and then he will start weeping and freaking out over the fact He screwed up His only chance to make up with His son and Lucifer will never forgive Him or love Him again as he used to once upon a time.

"Does it say it's for babies? I think not." Under no circumstances should he allow someone to poison his nephew by giving him the wrong food. With his half-human small, weak, frail body there is no telling how it would affect him. Raphael is not taking any chances. "Perhaps we should call Lucifer so he could inform us if it's alright to feed his son that." In his opinion, as his father, his elder brother should know better.

Chuck panicked at that moment as He did not in a long time. In the spur of the situation, He literally snapped Raphael's vessel Thanos's style.

"Yeah, Dad." Gabriel snorted, staring at the dust left behind. "You're totally not under pressure or something. Everything is under control."


	5. Chapter 5

"You're doing so great. I'm so proud of you." Michael encouraged his brother, rubbing his back comfortingly, as he drank shot after shot after. They stopped on their way to get something to drink hoping, even though they both knew it won't have much of an effect, it might help him take his mind off Jack and get him more used to the idea of them being apart.

"This is not comfortable. I'm not comfortable! I need my baby!" It was a very slow working process. "I know him better than them. I know his needs better than them. If they don't take this seriously, they could kill him." His half-human side weakened him terribly. He was vulnerable. "Oh my Dad, what if they killed him? We need to go back! Michael, I'm going back!"

"Sit down, Lucifer." So far, no one was burning or screaming, just his brother whining terribly, but what's new to that? "Don't make me bind you to this place. Five feet away from all these bottles." Now, he understands why most humans tend to love to death those alcoholic drinks. They really help him not to get up and bang his brother's head against the counter.

The younger Archangel nodded, biting the inside of his cheek, nervously tapping his fingers against the counter before he drank another shot and ordered two more. "You know what, bro?" His brother turned to ask him what, but he raised his finger in the air and to a standing position as well. "Actually, hold that thought. I need to go to the bathroom."

He did go to the bathroom, knowing God's eldest son's eyes were practically glued on his back, but with no intention to use the toilets. Studying the barred window for a few moments, to decide whether it would fit his vessel's body or not before deciding if it doesn't fit then he will make it fit, he placed his hands on them.

His eyes began to take their real blood-red color as the metal melted under his touch, continuing to do so until all of them were out of his way. With a wave of his hand, the hot melted metal disappeared as if it was never there in the first place allowing him now to sneak out through the small but open window.

"You seriously thought I wasn't going to see that coming?" Michael asked, already there, already waiting for him, leaning against the fire escape staircase by the wall. He seriously thought he could get away from his sight that easily? "How many years have we known each other?"

"Too many if you ask me!" Lucifer snapped back. 

When he tried to get past him, his brother grabbed him and pushed him back as he struggled to get free. "Let me go, he needs me. I can sense it. My dad senses are screaming at me!" Michael quickly dismissed that thought. One can hardly go against God Himself and stand a chance. "Help! Help! I'm getting robbed!"

The eldest Archangel took a moment to question his life choices.

* * *

Raphael eventually showed up with a new vessel and look on his new face that said he couldn't wait for the weekend to finish although it just started. Gabriel was chuckling at the sight of him as Chuck rubbed his neck nervously with Jack sitting on his lap. "Er... No hard feelings?" Whoever was this new vessel of Raphael, he had a one of a kind bitch face.

"We're watching cartoons." Gabe said pointing with the remote at the screen trying to contain his laughter. Occasional snorts were escaping him. "Tom just ate a dynamite and he is about to explode any second from now... find that relatable?" 

If only looks could kill, Raphael would've already committed the sinful act of kinslaying. On whom... well, that is going to remain a secret for now.

"And what are our supposed plans after that?" The Healer asked taking a seat next to His Father with a pointed look at him. "Go back to Heaven to play bowling with our brothers and sisters as pins?" Chuck did not look back at Him. Inside the Trickster's mind, imagining how fun it would be, he was already making plans on it.

Jack grabbed the remote in his small hands trying to fit it in his mouth. Raphael tried to take it from him because A. It was unhealthy for so many reasons not to mention risky for his frail body. B. He wanted to change the channel. His Father and brother might be huge fans of Lumberjack Ladies; Cutting Wood and Breaking Hearts With An Ax... but he was not.

That couldn't have gone worse for The Healer.

Apparently, Lucifer's parenting went places. Angry that his supposed toy (although he had about fifty more) was unrightfully taken from him, Jack's blue eyes stared at his uncle a golden glow taking over them along with a small, gentle smile, tilting his head to the side. If Raphael would've spent more time with his brother, he would've known what comes next and braced himself from the imminent attack.

The Archangel only managed to open his mouth intending to scold his nephew for his inappropriate reaction before he was blasted through the sidewall of his brother's apartment and into the sky by a powerful force much like Team Rocket at the end of the episode. The Father and son remained in silence watching where Raphael flew off as some remaining bricks fell as an afterward.

"Well..." Gabe snickers. "The Archangel blasts off again!"

Chuck ran his hand over his face.

* * *

"So. You like it?" It wasn't much. He was on a tight budget. But it was relatively nice and left enough for them to enjoy the bar properly. Plus it was by the beach, and knowing his brother's newfound affinity for women, the chances for the female beach local volleyball team to drop by were _very_ high. Drinks and women should keep any man entertained for the weekend.

The Devil instead chose a bed to mop in, layed down on it, grabbed a pillow and hugged it to his chest pouting. "I hate it. I hate you. And I want to die." Not exactly close to a thank you, but not exactly an 'I'm Having A Terrible Time' either. There are times when he's really asking to get strangled or killed. And this was one of them.

Michael would've dived for his blade if he still had it feeling that he's oficially run out of patience. Instead, he took a calming breath and tried to smile. "How about we give a call home?" He suggested asking himself why did he agree to do this again? "We can check on Dad and you could see Jack. Would that make you feel better?" Lucifer looked up at him and nodded.

"My baby!" The Devil cried in a very uncharacteristic and cheerful way at the sight of his offspring on the screen. Gabe rolled his eyes in the background and His Father gave him a nervous smile, trying to hold the camera right and the baby balanced on His lap. "Look at you, surrounded by idiots and still alive." He cooed "My little warrior's already a survivor too." His baby's gonna rule the world someday.

"We're fine. We're doing great, still alive, not hunted. Thank you for caring. Sweet Heaven, I can't do anything without you guys overly worrying. I love this family so much." The Trickster's sarcastic comment did not get noticed by anyone else, but Chuck who gave Him an apologetic look. Michael was more interested in reading a brochure, Raphael was stardust, and Lucifer had eyes only for Jack.

His brother waved him off, totally melting at the sight of his son trying to crawl his way to him even though he didn't know it was just a screen and in reality, they were actually miles apart. "Go hug a landmine."

Jack looked at him, his tiny palm touching the screen as he tried touching his father's face. Lucifer's corner of mouth shot up, inside him building up the excitement that his boy was finally going to call him 'dada _'. If that's what it took, I should've left him months ago!_ The baby gave him a small smile, opened his mouth and squealed. "Babuah!"

In the background, Gabriel wheezed histerically, his short-lived anger with brother disappearing instantly. His hand went to hold his stomach as he fell to the floor. Chuck was impassive, having no reaction at all because He using His powers to hold it in as He watched Lucifer's grin slowly fade away and Michael behind making all kinds of facial expression trying not to burst out laughing as well.

"Alright. Bye." The Devil said, abruptly ending the video call. "Alright, you said you wanted to get wasted? Well, let's get wasted!" He proclaimed tossing the rectangular object out through the open window, getting rid in the process of everything that tied him to the others back home, already marching his way out of the room fully intending to drink himself into oblivion no matter what it took.

The Archangel remained behind, staring at the said window.

"...That was my phone..."


End file.
